the most precocious little girl...

I have ever met. Regina was one of the first little ones we got to know. There was something very different about this two year old. She was not like the other kids. She couldn't care less about the yovus. She came over because Dora, her mom came over, but she was not the least bit impressed by us. The other kids loved us immediately because we were different. We had to win over Regina every day.
I have met very few people as self-assured as Regina. She knows exactly who she is and who you are- "I'm Regina, and you're a yovu." She tells you if you piss her off- "Don't take my beads or I'll hit you with a stick." And she knows where she was going in life- "Dora, let's go home right now."
Regina literally acts like a twenty year old. Because Tefle is such a safe village, she is free to wander around, going yard to yard. She bosses around kids four times her age, and is always the leader of the pack. She refers to her mother as Dora, and Dora is the only person who she ever obeys, with a quiet respectfulness.


But, Regina is only two, and she lives in a tiny and frail body. When she came down with malaria, we were all stricken with worry. Dora didn't have the money to take her to the doctor, and Regina's fever was 102. She wouldn't eat. Her head hurt and she didn't want to be near light. When I held her, she felt like a hot, limp doll in my arms, nothing like the rambunctious fighter I was used to. I couldn't help but run statistics of less developed country child mortality rates through my head. I told Dora that we would do anything, anything at all to help, determined not to lose this precious child. We gave Regina some tylenol and told Dora to please let us know if she got worse. But, Regina is a fighter, and slowly got better over the next few days. She was back to her old self by the time we left- it was such a relief when she refused to hug me goodbye.

so now you're back from outer space...

I've been back in SF for a week now, catching up on many things, including lots of reading and writing for school. My apologies to all of you who dutifully checked my blog for interesting Africa updates to no avail. There was very limited access to the internet while I was in Ghana. But now that I'm back to a 24/7 high speed internet connection, I plan on doing some back tracking and story-telling. I met some beautiful people who touched my life and did some fun things that I want you to know about. So, here goes. First, I want you to know about

Dora.

I didn't get to say goodbye to Dora. "Where's Dora?" I kept asking, a bit panicked as we loaded the last of our things into the tro-tro. But, she had purposefully slipped away at the last minute because she didn't want to cry. As I took my last ride through Tefle out to the main road, I saw her standing front of a friend's house, and I got to wave to her. I don't think I've ever waved so sincerely or so sadly. I wonder if I'll ever see her again.

Dora was our neighbor. It took me a couple of weeks to figure out which house she actually lived in, because she was always in a different yard, looking comfortable and at home. She is so sincerely kind and laid-back that it seems that she is welcome everywhere in Tefle.

Many evenings, I would track Dora down at her house, or her brother's house, or a neighbors house, or she would come over to our house, and we would sit and talk for a bit. If it was below 80 degrees outside, Dora would be wearing her windbreaker and would mention how cold it was. She would tell me to be careful of the mosquitoes, and that it was bad for me to be bitten. She would show me pictures of herself and her friends, at weddings, funerals, and festivals. It was strange to see her in the pictures, because she was hardly ever smiling, compared to real life, when she smiles all the time. If I was washing laundry or dishes, she would beg me to let her do it right, and would finally be resigned to watching me do it, when I insisted that, although I couldn't do it as well as she could, I should still do it myself. If I had a stressful or a hard day, it was Dora I wanted to see, because just being around her felt so calming and made me so happy.

Although we are the same age, it seems that Dora has been through so much more in her life. She's married and has a two year old daughter named Regina (who you'll hear more about in a later posting), but her husband lives in Accra, so he can earn a living, and Dora had to move to Tefle with family. Dora's cell phone broke and she doesn't have the money to get it fixed, so she never gets to talk to her husband. She doesn't know when he will be able to visit. He sends her 10 Ghana cedis (10 dollars) every couple of months to support her and Regina, but food and medicine is expensive, and Regina gets sick often. Other than the money sent from her husband, Dora's brother can afford to give her 1 Ghana cedi a day (1 dollar), and Dora usually buys rice, eggs, and tea for herself and Regina. When she talks about her hardships, she doesn't get sad or angry, she just smiles and says, "That's how it is."

There are no jobs for Dora to do, so she mainly helps to take care of her extended family, including her blind grandmother, and attends the workshops offered by the Network for Women in Growth.


My favorite day with Dora was the day before we left. We walked around Tefle together, just visiting different people and chatting. I told her I thought she should be the next Assembly woman because she knew everyone. She was very flattered and said that she might like to do that one day. She learned how to use my camera. We played in a soccer match that made my mouth hurt from smiling so much. We talked about how we hadn't had enough time together, and I told her that I would love for her to come visit me in the U.S. sometime. She just laughed.

I think about Dora often. I want an easier life for her. But, I know that if life never gets easier, or even if it gets harder, she will face it with her deliberate positivity and unbreakable spirit. She inspires me.